Have You Ever Been Flat Broke?

I'm talking on the verge of being homeless.  No money now and none coming in anytime soon. Collection people calling you on the phone.  Have you ever been in that position?

Well, I have.  A couple of years ago I decided that I had to simply cut my loses and start all over.  So, I stopped trying to make any bill payments except the things I needed like food, water rent and electricity.

I had owned a small business and had to take a credit hit over some of those bills like my yellow pages ad.  I also had to break my cellular phone contract.  I never finished high school, so any kind of job I was able to get didn't pay much better than minimum wage.  And that simply isn't enough to make a living on anymore.

Anyway, I was able to enjoy one thing.  I became very fond of debt collectors calling me.  Most people dread this kind of thing, but I discovered I could have a lot of fun by simply telling them the truth.  I was not even going to try to pay them the money I owed.  I was polite (at least until they became rude), but firm.  I told them flat out that I was NEVER going to pay that bill.  When they asked why, I said it didn't matter because I simply wasn't going to pay.

"Well," they'd say, " if you won't pay, we're going to sue you."  I told them that was fine by me.  They could spend all the money they wanted to attempting to collect, but no matter what they did, I still wasn't paying.

"You'll go to prison" they'd threaten.  I told them that was a lie.  There are no prisons for debtors anymore.

Then they started getting rude.  They called me names like loser and crook and worse.  So, I told him to slow down.  I wanted him to know that I understood how things were so difficult for him.  I mean, who grows up thinking "I want to be a bill collector."  I told him he was a man so hard up that he'd taken a job being mean to people that are just as hard up as himself and that if HE wanted to talk, I'd be there for him.  I think I had him on the verge of tears.

Another man was so rude that I finally told him if he wanted that money he could come to Texas and "suck it out of my cock."

The last one that called was a woman.  She was very nice, but I told her the same things, that I was never going to pay the debt.  She ask if I was a "professional debtor."  I agreed that I was and told her I felt her I felt very badly about it.  I told her I really needed to be punished.  She asked what kind of punishment and I said "maybe you can come over and spank me."  This actually made her laugh.

The last one to call I simply told that I would neither confirm or deny that I was indeed the person to which they wanted to speak.  She had no way of dealing with this.  There was nothing she could do if I wouldn't say I was the person she wanted to speak to.

I'm sure all my conversations with debt collectors were recorded and are now used for training purposes.  I smile when I think about that.