Monday, July 30, 2012

How I Became an Atheist.

I really didn't want to be an atheist.  I wanted there to be a God.  I wanted to believe there was someone there.  Someone tending the fires, so to speak.  Someone to go to when my life wasn't going right.

When I was about nine years old I asked my mother why God let bad things happen to good or innocent people.  Why did little babies get sick and die?  Why did tornados rip apart people's homes?  She couldn't answer me.  So, she had me talk to our preacher.  But, he wasn't any more help.  I was told to have faith and to believe that God really was good, but did things for reasons we puny humans couldn't understand.

Even at such a young age I could tell this was bullshit.  But, I still needed to believe.

A few years later I thought I'd find my answers by reading the Bible.  And I did.  I read the whole thing cover to cover.  Even the really dull parts that don't say anymore than who begat who begat who.  I discovered the inconsistencies along with some things that seemed morally repugnant to me.

Sense I knew seeing someone from a church would be useless, I started reading books by biblical scholars.  Books by the people that made their living teaching the Bible in seminary and divinity schools.  People that had studied history and spoke ancient Greek and could put things into perspective for me.

It didn't help.  On the contrary, it moved me farther away from the God I was trying to get next to.

Next I began reading books that gave the opposite point of view.  I read about Satanism and evolution and cosmology.  I discovered these books made more sense to me.

But, I still wasn't ready to give up on God.  I became agnostic.

I kept looking.  I read the writings of the famous religious leaders like Martin Luther and Markus Aurelius.  But, it didn't help.  It started to seem like these were men grasping for straws, desperately trying to hold onto their own idea of God.

As I grew older, God made less and less sense.  God began to look like a children's story.  Like Santa or the Great Pumpkin.

I sat down in a dark, quiet room and I thought "is there really a God?"  Then, for the first time, I allowed myself so say "maybe there is no God.  Maybe this is just something to keep people from fearing death too much."  And that tiny flame began to grow inside me.  I couldn't stop it.  Everything I understood about the world confirmed it.

I simply couldn't fight it anymore.

There is no God.  There is no heaven or hell.  There is only this life, this world and this universe and it's a beautiful place filled with more things than anyone could ever want.  This is an amazing place and sometimes I still feel a desire to thank someone for it.  But, there is no one to thank.  Just my lucky stars.

I guess that'll have to be enough.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Finding the Inner Jerk

I want to be clear here.  If a woman does the same job as a man she absolutely should be paid the same.  Assuming she really is doing the same job, working just as hard and putting in the same hours.  I am a firm believer in equal rights for all people no matter their age, sex, race or whatever.

Having said that, I've seen some problems.

I guess it was back in the 80s when women started finding their inner bitch.  Supposedly, this was about asking for their fair shake in a "man's world".  They believed standing up for their rights made them a bitch.  Women began to take pride in being a bitch.  But, many women have taken this concept too far.  They have gone beyond being equal and now, often have a sense of entitlement that they deserve more than what they've actually earned.

Men, it's time for us to put these "bitches" in their place.  We have to stop putting up with women's garbage.  They are certainly due what they've earned, but that's where it has to end.  Once they cross the line it's up to us to say "NO.  Stop.  I've had enough of this crap."

Of course by doing so women will call us jerks.  (actually, they'll likely use a stronger word that starts with ass and ends with hole.)  But, we have to remain firm.  We have to stand up for ourselves because no one else will.

It's up to us to hold women to their word and make them take responsibility for their actions.  After all, this is the 21st century.  Women don't need men to come to their rescue anymore.  If her car breaks down, if her roof leaks, if she spent her rent money on shoes and we come over and fix her problems, we should be paid for our time.  Money, a home cooked meal, take us out to dinner or whatever.  We did the work, we earned the payment.  If she's not willing to pay, let her walk.

Of course she tell everyone what a jerk you are, but so what?  Would you rather be known as a jerk or a pussy?

So, sack up gentleman and stop putting up with that bitch's nonsense.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Is the USA an Outdated Concept?

I'm a fan of Tom Leykis (www.blowmeuptom.com).  He has a show that's both informative and entertaining.  He used to be on the radio, but he was fired.  So, now he does a live call in show over the internet.

He says (and I agree) that radio is an outdated concept.  No one listens to radio anymore. At least not the way we once did.  If I do listen to radio, I'm tuned to NPR.  But, most of the time, I'm listening to my MP3 player or a pod cast or his show or nothing at all.  And satellite radio?  Why pay for all those channels I'll never listen to when I can find better stuff on my smart phone?

My point is that the good ol' USA may be like radio.  Are we facing a future where our best and brightest may have to leave in order to find work and make a decent living?

The USA is going to have to re-invent itself or things may change for Americans in a very bad way.  This scares the hell out of me.  I've re-invented myself once already. Will I have to do it again?

The right wants to lower taxes and deregulate and give almost everything over to the private sector.  But, we've been going down that road for the last 40 or so years and things haven't gotten better.  On the contrary, they've gotten worse!

The left wants to raise taxes on the wealthy and put the restrictions back in place, the way things were back in the 1950s.  That was a good time for us, but will it solve the problem?

The fact is the USA is going to have to evolve, the way Tom Leykis has.  We're going to have to look at our future, assess our strengths, avoid our weaknesses and come up with a plan that will keep us all above the poverty line and we need to do it fast.

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Downsizing Life


Technological is pretty awesome. I really like how it affords me the opportunity to save space, time and money in so many ways.

Years ago I had a big collection of records. It took up a lot of space, not to mention the turntable, stereo, speakers, and shelfs that had to go along with it in order to enjoy my music. Now, it all fits into an MP3 player the size of a Zippo lighter and I never have to flip a record over! I can just hit the play button and enjoy hours of music.

Do I really need a row of shelves to store my DVD collection the way I did with VHS tapes? Wouldn't I be better off with a sort of book thing to keep them in? Just make sure they stay alphabetized for easy access and I've cleared up more living space. For that matter, maybe I'm behind the times and there's already some kind of movie gadget that'll hold my mobster film collection in a matchbox.

I used to hang all my clothes in a closet. Now, I fold most them and put them on a shelf. I was shocked at how many clothes could be stored in a small space by doing this. The only thing still hanging in my closet are a few dress shirts and a suit and some jackets. I now have enough room in there for a small computer desk if I wanted.

I really don't need a refrigerator as large as the one I have. I never have leftovers and I buy just enough food to last a me week. I think I'd be better off with something like an electric cooler.

And what about that four burner range? I've never used more than one burner at a time. As a single man, I have no need for a large oven and could get by just fine with a small convection oven. I pretty much think microwave ovens are useless. I don't use them at all.

So, what am I going to do with all that extra space?

Why not just eliminate it? After all, I didn't feel the least bit claustrophobic with all that stuff there. Why would I feel closed in if I just lived in a smaller space?

Living in a smaller space means lower heating and cooling costs and who couldn't use more money in these tough times?

That's what I've been thinking about lately. How to conserve space and make the most of it. The smaller I can make my living space, the less it'll cost me in both money and time to maintain it. When My lease is up, I'm looking for the smallest apartment I can find.

So, if anyone reading this has ideas about saving time, space or energy, let me know about it.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

There's the Door

I've noticed a pattern with relationships in my life.  I'll get into a disagreement with my woman and to keep the peace I'll give in to her.  This is the first step down a road leading to the wrong place.

Once she learns she can manipulate me with emotional outbursts she'll start using this tool more and more.  Foolishly, I go along.  I'm thinking, "whatever you want, just shut up!"  After some time she's doing whatever she wants without a thought about my wants and needs.  She now sees me as a useless lump taking up space in her life.  She doesn't care about me and worse, she has no respect for me.  And she's right, I've lost my balls.  I handed them to her on a silver platter saying "here you go honey, I don't need these anymore."

Well gentleman, I've found the answer.  I now understand how to get my power back and earn the respect I should have never lost.  It's just three simple words.

There's the door.

It's so easy!  Just tell her if she's really that unhappy she's free to go because you're sick of hearing her nag and complain.  Just pack her shit and hit the bricks.  I'm sure we'll both do just fine on our own.

But, You know what?  She won't leave!  You can bet your last dollar on it.  She ain't going anyplace.

This is a total power flip.  Now she's playing YOUR game, dancing to YOUR tune.

Use this power wisely.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Masculinity Crisis

What does it mean to be masculine in 21st century America?  With the rise of feminism and the gay movement it seems a lot of people want to redefine what it means to be men and their roll in the home.

On the one hand, women say they want an equal partnership, but on the other they say they want a man to sit at the head of their tables.   A man they can respect.  I don't know about you, but I'm confused.

I think this is the root of many relationship troubles.  Women want a man to lead as long as he's leading where she wants to go.  But, if he's going where she wants, he isn't really leading is he?

If a woman wants her man to lead, she must submit to his leadership.  Submit is a word many women don't seem to like the taste of.  Why should she submit to him?

Because she wants him to lead.

What if she doesn't like where he's taking them?

Therein lies the trouble.  Now the arguments start.  She no longer wants him to lead.  She no longer trusts his vision.  Now she wants to lead.  But, in doing so she loses respect for him and he can no longer sit at the head of her table.

Someone must take the lead.  One partner must be dominant while the other submits.  There is simply no other way.

We men just want our women to be happy.  If you want to follow us, we will lead you.  If you want to take the lead, that's okay too.  We'll take the backseat.  We really don't care.  But, women don't seem to respect a man that submits to them.  Women seem to want to "marry up."   Where does that leave men?

It beats the hell out of me.

For me the solution is to keep things separated.  This is my life and I'll take of it.  You can do what you want with your life.  You don't tell me how to run my life and I won't tell you how to run your's.

Hopefully, we can find a place to meet in between our lives.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

It's Just Sex

I don't insist on having sex with a woman on the first date.  I leave this up to her.  If she wants to, awesome!  If not, that's cool too.  However, if we don't have sex, I have no reason to ask her on a second date.

The only reason I take a woman out is because there's the possibility of having sex.  If she doesn't want it, there are plenty of women that do.  Why should I waste my time with a woman that wants to drag her heels?

Don't get me wrong, I respect her decision.  It's her body and if she'd rather go home and diddle herself to Johnny Depp movies, she can knock herself out.  But, I'm going home and sending a text to a booty call.

Now, I know women want sex as much as men do.  So, why would she want to wait?   Because she doesn't know you well enough?  That's a valid reason.  But, if I planed our date properly, it shouldn't be an issue.

The only other reason I can come up with is she's playing hard to get.  That means she's attempting to increase her value in my eyes by making me think her stuff is so special because she doesn't give it away to any guy that comes along.  Well, that's a head game and I don't want to play.  She doesn't have anything other women don't have and it's not any  better either.

It's just sex after all.

Living Your Dreams

When I was young that's what everyone told me.  "Find a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life," they said.  But, when my dreams seemed to lofty or they weren't what others had in mind, they changed their tune.

"Get an education so you'll have something to fall back on," they now told me.  But, I was stubborn.  I knew what I wanted even if I didn't know how to start.

Eventually, I met a man that saw something in me.  He thought I had talent and the right attitude and gave me a chance.  I worked hard and learned a lot from him in the next few years.  I saved my money and was able to start my own business.

But, I hadn't learned enough.  The one thing I hadn't learned was when to quit.  After ten years, business slowed down and I couldn't afford to stay open.

I was one of the lucky ones.  I was able to live my dream and live well for 15 years.  These days things are tougher.  I still have dreams, but there are bills to pay and responsibilities to be met.  My dreams have been put away.  Now I just work and consider myself lucky I don't have a job I hate.

The truth is we cannot all live our dreams because we need people to work in the sewers.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Things I Learned From Mobster Films


I truly enjoy a good mobster film.  The Godfather, Mean Streets, Bugsy and even Get Shorty.  But, I don't love these films for the action and violence.  I love them for the wisdom that comes from the rules they have to live by.  I've found many of them are applicable to my mundane, every day.  Here are just a few;

A Well Dressed Man Always has the Advantage

The way you present yourself tells the world how to treat you.  Dress like a pot smoker, get treated like a pot smoker.  But, dress like a respected member of the community and get treated like one.

We all make judgments about others based on how they look.  We cannot help it.  It's part of our survival programming.  So, it just makes sense to look as good as you can sense you will likely be dealing with more strangers than friends most days.

That doesn't mean you should wear a suit and tie all the time, just put some effort into your appearance.

Present an Air of Cool, Confidence

When others are given the impression that you know what you're doing, they naturally trust and follow your lead.  So, stand up tall, look people in the eye and don't forget to smile.

Don't Say More Than You Have to

Giving out too much information is a sure way to lose a good deal.  Tell people what you want, what you're willing to do in exchange and allow them to assume what they will.

Don't Rat Out Your Friends

I used to fill my car's gas tank on the way home from work.  It was after dark, but I always went to the same place and used the same guy.  He'd turn the pump on for me before I'd paid him which saved me a walk inside to pay and a walk back in after filling up to collect my change.

One night his boss was there and another guy was complaining that the pump wasn't turned on the way it always had been.  The boss said it was company policy to be paid first and asked who had been turning the pump on for him.  The fool pointed at the man that had been hooking us up and that was the end of that deal for everybody.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Attributes of a Modern Gentleman

*He's well mannered and polite, but that doesn't mean he suffers fools easily.
*He says what he means, but he may not tell you everything and you may not like what you hear.
*He doesn't play head games and he doesn't put up with them.
*He strives for a stress free life and works to eliminate any chaotic influences.
*He can be ruthless when it's called for.
*He maintains a cool head and seldom gets in a rush.
*He never complains. If something troubles him he gets rid of it or gets used to it.
*He puts his income above everything else. Because without it, he cannot meet the needs of anything else.
*He doesn't give his word lightly and when he does it's not easily broken.
*He knows himself and what he needs to be happy.
*He knows his strengths and weaknesses.
*He's open minded, but doesn't change his views easily.
*He doesn't argue, but may enjoy a passionate exchange of ideas.
*He doesn't force, he persuades and influences.
*As for sex, he'll let his desires be known. But, if the attraction isn't mutual, he'll move on quickly.  He knows there are plenty of fish in the sea.